A- Jay Cox and The Quan Le have triumphed, barely, over Allie Perras and the Nicest Guy I know Wayne Baldelli. If memory serves it went down to the wire and 21-19 was the ending.

B- Newcomers and trash-talkers Phil Lesh Sharpe and Alex Scott Weiland ended up as 3rd place finishers over Mike Rochester Landry and Phil tbd Miller.

C- Jay and Quan are now proud owners of a 2nd League Playoff Title!!!! We done sirs. I cannot think of any other team that can make that boast, primarily because I’m old and forgetful. So, if any other teams wants to make that claim just send be your names on the back of a $100 bill and I’ll right to it.

Birdie Pool:

Ian McPherson wins 1st place with a total of 8. He grabs $252 from the Birdie prize pool.

Rick Manda and Kevin Riley win 2nd place with a total of 4. Each gets $63 from the Birdie prize pool.

Russ Burdick and Mike Landry win 3rd place with total of 3. Each gets $21 from the Birdie prize pool.

Match 1: Russ Burdick v Gary Swanson. The battle went Gary’s way early, but Russ battled back to even the match at the end at 10-10. Kevin Horgan v Ken Crouch. Kevin played decently except for losing his shit on 3 holes. Ken played well from the Yellows and did not lose his shit. Kevin 8 and Ken 12. G+K=22. K+R=18.

Match 2: Tony Serra v Allie Perras. Tony was giving strokes and did not hold up his end of the bargain as Allie took him apart one hole at a time. Allie 13, Tony 20-13=7. Wayne Baldelli v Luis Gomez. Wayne played well and hoped he would do to Luis like Allie did to Tony. No such luck. Luis played very well from the Yellows and worked over Wayne 15-5. Luis + Tony=22. Allie + Wayne = 18.

Match 3: Kevin Riley v Jay Cox. Kevin played well, but Jay picked his moments to try keeping it close. Riley 12-8. Gary Smith v Quan Le (Bruce Gurney). Gary found someone in Bruce to take advantage of as he marched to a 13-7 win. Jay + Bruce=15. Kevin and Gary = 25.

Match 4: Mike Landry v Luke Alves. Mike shot a 39 and Luke found it difficult to do anything but make him look good. Mike got 17. Luke got crushed. Phil Miller v Jenna Cordero. Phil then recognized this thing is about getting more points than your opponent and tagged Jenna 13-7. Mike and Phil= 30. Jenna and Luke = 10.

Match 5: Ian McPherson v Alex Weiland. Ian pulled double duty as usual when his team needs the extra points. Really Ron? Do you feel me? We looked to Alex to keep up with Ian and he did not disappoint us. 10-10 tie. Ron Bates (Ian McPherson 2) v Phil Sharpe. Ian 2 then lined up on Phil None too Sharpe for a 10-10 tie as well. 20-20 tie.

Match 6: Bill Morrill v Jim Brawn (Steve Giguere). Bill played well and took 12 points from substitute Steve. Craig Marsh v Keith MacNeal. Craig also played well matching his low round of the year and getting 13 points from Keith. Bill and Craig=25 and Steve and Keith=15.

Match 7: The Course v Paul Boisvert. Paul went out and got 5 Birdies that didn’t count for the Pool because he played The Course. He also ended up shooting 55. The course got 16pts. The Course 2 v Bob Andrews (Mark Bouley). Mark filled in for Bob and got jobbed just like Paul, The Course 2 got 16 points.

Match 8: Chris Riley v Linda Mara.  Linda played well tuning up Chris in the process 12-8. Rick Manda v Jody Smith. Rick played an excellent round and Jody felt abused because of it. Rick 13 Jody 7.

The Regular Season Champions are Ian and Ron. They outpointed Tony and Luis when it came down to the last few weeks. Well done fellas!

That now leaves the Playoffs for us all. Ian and Ron earned a Bye for the first round. The rest of us have been paired up according to lowest seed playing the highest seed and working down the line.

Recall that since it will be getting darker for the last few groups please keep the matches moving along. Each team should keep a scorecard so there are no burps at the end of the match with anyone unsure of the outcome. If you don’t know how to score your matches you should have contacted me during the 3rd week when I held scoring classes at the Westender. If there is a tie at the end of 9 holes you must determine a winning team by the time you hit the clubhouse. If extra holes are decided to break the tie any strokes that would have been given on the subsequent holes are still applied. You can also do a putt-off, draw cards, have a footrace, flip a coin, etc.

Check your matches and keep an eye to the weather for Wednesday. Note: Rick and Chris are a lower seed due to beating Mike and Phil head to head in week 9.

Rusty and Luke

Sorry for the brief report, but I’ve been intoxicated for the last week celebrating the USA Women’s FIFA win over the Dutch and this is the best I could do.

Birdie Pool notes:

Mike L., Phil S. and Luis each grabbed a birdie this week.

Ian expressed dismay that his week 11 gross score of 37 was not enough to beat his opponent. After extensive Drunk History research I located at least 10 other instances where a gross score of 37 and less was still humiliated by an opponent. Most recently, was last years playoffs involving 2 guys named Kevin; I think you know who we’re talking about, and the gross was a 33….f-eBag rides again.

Check the scores and points and memorize at least one obscure players handicap as well as your own for this week’s matches.

Yours Truly,

Rusty and Luke, 

ps-Luke and I go head to head this week. The winner gets to enforce one additional weird rule of golf for the rest of the season.

Well, It’s getting down to a 2 horse race at the top of the League:  Ron and Ian and Tony and Luis are only 2 points apart as we wind down the Initial Competition of finding the League Champions. Kevin and Russ are lurking nearby, but unless they go 80-0 over the next 2 weeks it is most likely over for them.

It is often said that less is more so I’ll be signing this note off as Les Moore.

Ian and Kevin R. each got another Birdie. Ian leads the Pool with 5 and the also rans are stuck at 3. Step it up campers…

The most exciting thing that happened in week 13 was Ryan Open Mouth Insert Foot Farrell subbed in for Luke Dengue Fever Alves. He brought the written and the verbal banter reminiscent of his Member Days in our League. Jenna warned him that engaging Rusty Potty-Mouth Burdick was a bad life choice, but he just couldn’t control himself. The highlight, if you can call it that, was on the par 4 number 13th hole: 1st shot all you got and then a difficult 2nd shot over water and/or hill and dale to a green recently protected by a red-tailed hawk(s). Tee shots were issued and Ryan Weak Hitter Farrell was first to play his 2nd shot. He pulled out a 3 wood, “Rusty, hold my beer”, and deftly faded that bad boy over the water and onto our green settling nicely 20 feet professionally below the hole. I honestly can’t remember a better approach shot during my years in the league. Well done indeed Ryan. I proceeded to dub my 2nd shot just over the cart path and onto the severe slope of the bank on the right. Next shot was toward the green, but long. Kevin and Jenna were playing too, but my focus was laser-like on Ryan…and a hawk that had not moved from 3 feet off the green between the green and the pond. We had seen it during or 2nd shots and I thought it rather odd that it remained on the ground for so long. Was it hurt? Didn’t seem to be. When we approached I was able to see that it had killed a muskrat and was trying to decide whether to eat it whole or fly off with it. Turns out he couldn’t do either one. As we got onto the green and Ryan wimped his first putt about 10 feet another hawk flew out of the trees and hit the first hawk knocking him off the prize muskrat. As the first hawk recovered his senses about 10 feet away a 3rd hawk came at him and a small tussle ensued with one of them flying off and the victor eyeing the hawk with the muskrat still on the ground. Ryan, visibly shaken by this nature encounter, asked if we could skip this hole and return on Thursday to finish it instead. My response was “we’re settling this now you milk-toasty, carrot-topped SOB”. I popped a mediocre chip out of the cabbage and had 15 feet remaining. I then nudged a putt to about 2 feet with a tricky left to righter. Ryan obviously upset by the death of the muskrat then wobbled his 2nd putt that finally rested 2 feet above the hole. He looked at me anticipating a “good-good” proposition. At a loss for words I did mutter to Kevin, “no way I’m giving him that” and then announced “You’re going to need to putt that”. Ryan cockily stated, “If that’s how you want it, I’ll just drop this and you with a single stroke of this putter”. He then hit it too hard and lipped it out about 4 feet from the hole. “Pick that piece of shit up for what, a 6”? I then slide mine in for a 6 and split the hole. 

Ryan did recover on the next hole with a par, but the mental damage was already done. Final score: Rusty 14 Ryan 6. There were 2 others playing the match but I don’t have the time or the words to professionally describe how Kevin beat Jenna 12-8.

So, check the standings and the matchups for week 14. Only 2 weeks left of Regular Competition and then the playoffs.

Respectfully submitted,

Rusty and Subbing for Luke Ryan “I hate Rusty” Farrell

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome to the 3-Ring Circus that is the Shipley Golf League version 2019. There is plenty to get to so grab your favorite beverage and settle in.

Luke and I just concluded the Winter Meetings about the league. The venue this year was Aruba. Quite windy, but warm. And as you know the wind doesn’t effect Luke’s game a bit. We discussed several ways to improve the pace of play; those thoughts are shared with you in the notes below.

All invitees have until March 17th to declare their intentions of Playing this season or Not Playing this season.

Particulars:

1-Season starts on April 17th, Wednesday’s 

2-Greens Fee is $26 per week. 18 weeks x $26 = $468 + $25 prizes = $493 

Pay Russell Burdick (12 Plant Ave, Hudson MA 01749) by check or by electronic transfer:  Account Number 004661868409,  Routing Number (paper & electronic) 011000138, Routing Number (wires) 026009593.

3-No strokes are given on par 3’s. Continue to use current hdcp to calculate the Net scores. 

4-There are now assigned tee-times for each foursome. No Grace period. Go out on time; if late, run to catch up with your group. Each hole you don’t play you lose and record  the maximum allowable for that hole.

5-USGA reduced the time to look for lost balls this year. So have we. 1 minute maximum. Then your opponent drops a ball for you to hit. One stroke into the junk, one stroke for the dropped ball and you are now hitting your 3rd shot.

6-Maintain pace of play. If the Ranger tells you to step it up, step it up. If the Ranger tells you to pick it up and go to the next tee-box, pick it up and go to the next tee-box. Record double bogeys for each player in the group and then keep up the pace of play.

7-If you can’t or refuse to improve your pace of play Your Team will be assigned the last tee-time each week for the rest of the season.

8-Anyone with a handicap of 14 or more are now required to use the Yellow Tee Boxes. Your name will be highlighted in Yellow on the Standings page for that week that it applies. As your play improves you can move to the Blue tees, not before.

9-Handicaps are now calculated using the middle 10 of the last 14 scores(throwing out the lowest 2 and the highest 2). This has no material effect on your handicap, but will reduce the number of times it changes during the season.

10-Birdie Pool: $20 to get in. Regular Season Only. Payout is 60,30,10.  Must putt out all birdies and eagles: no gimmies. It doesn’t matter whether you are playing from the Blue or Yellow or Red tees. Kevin Riley is the current favorite. There will be a Special Prize if anyone manages to beat him this year. Sorry Kevin, my job is to whip these savages into a frenzy….

11- Notes concerning subs and playoffs will follow.

Luke and Rusty