Happy Father’s Day to everyone! I hope you had a relaxing weekend holding court at your house and holding down the couch or Lazy Boy chair.
As always there was a lot going on last time: Hans and Brandon have shot to the Leadership position while last weeks’ leaders, Bob and Paul will try to regain that position by crushing Russ and Kevin; I don’t think so…Keith MacNeal got a Birdie last week and by me mentioning it here in the newsletter he is now obligated to join the Birdie Pool ($20). Kevin Horgan put together a great drive, pitch and drain of his putt to grab his 1st Birdie of the season on #6. Ken Crouch, who joins the Birdie Pool every year and then refuses to card a birdie made a tactical error and is now a Proud Member of the Birdie Pool grabbing his 1st one this season.
Paul Dwayne continues with solid play carding a 40 for low gross. Phil Slippery Sharpe posted a net 29, which we can only describe as a blatant sandbagging effort. Hans and Brandon acquired the highest match points of the week at 28.
Check the Standings/Pairings, review your handicaps and work up a vulgar diatribe for the opponent or league official of your choice.
Reminder that the kitchen is open in the clubhouse and food and drinks can be enjoyed on the deck outside.Social distancing is still in effect for the safety of everyone.
It’s predicted to be very hot on Wednesday so load up on cool drinks to keep you properly hydrated.
Check out the great work Ken Blue Crouch has performed at https://shipleygolf.net
Regards,
Rusty

Sportsfans,
It was a good night to play golf last week. Just ask Bob and Paul as they laid waste to their competition and grabbed up 30 points. 
I chipped in another one with my eyes closed and continue to lead the field of hopefuls in the Birdie Pool.
Check the standings page and get ready for another round of The Show.
Respectfully submitted,
Russ of Russ and Luke

Members,
Sorry for the terse report, but that is all I have time for this week.
Special Note:  We will play League Golf the week of July 4th. Please plan to attend.
Attached please find the standings page for this week’s matches.
Birdie Pool Leader now has 2. And yes, it’s still me. Plenty of time to get in, just shoot me an email of intent and I’ll collect the $ sometime soon.
Thanks and have a great week.
Rusty

We have finally gotten the chance to go out and play the game we tell our spouses we do every Wednesday Night!
Firstly, welcome to the new members of our group. I hope you enjoy it out there with us. 
People did very well with the social distancing, but please keep it in your minds at all times moving forward. Safety first. I’m a safety girl.
Pace of play…only you can prevent slow play. If you like to talk, speak loudly from a distance and do it walking down the fairway like you are trying to avoid Bill Morrill.
Attendance has its own reward. Each Regular Season Week a Member plays golf they will get a point towards the grand total. It’s not much, but it can help when seeding is being done for the playoffs.
Week 1 Roundup:
Ken and Gary welcomed Brandon and Hans and as they went out in the earliest tee time on Lakeside Back. The weather was perfect: Snack shack was open and the beer cart was seen and heard driving the course. Apparently it went to crap soon after as the final score ended up with Ken and Gary getting 9 points and Brandon and Hans getting 31. Hooray new guys!
Bob and Paul Boisvert played Rick and Chris in the second slot. Seemed uneventful as B+P earned 24 with C+R getting 16.
Third group saw Ian and Ron abuse their elders of Phil Miller and Paul Caizzi. The tune went 30-10, probably: intro, verse, verse, chorus, bridge, verse, chorus, outro, studio banter.
Fourth up was Tony S. and Bill Morrill who took no time and no pleasure jacking up Keith and his buddy Steve G.30-10.
Fifth in line was Alex W. and Phil S. a couple of Sophomores looking to dupe some Freshmen: Paul Dwayne and Kevin Z. into some prank. It didn’t work. Paul and Kevin 22 Alex and Phil 18.
Sixth in line was yours truly and Kevin Horgan going up against Linda Mara and her current Boo Stan Wojta. Jody Smith couldn’t make it so that’s where Stan comes in. Stan’s first time playing we us was pretty good. He could use to curse more and learn to throw clubs better, but I’m sure he’ll improve those skills. We got the best of them 23-17, although Linda beat me pretty good. So good actually it reminded me I still had chores to do at home.Oh, I did get my first Birdie last night on #11 a chip in from 20yds.
Seventh in line to the throne were Allie and Wayne, admittedly the nicest Team in our League. Merciless, its true, but really nice while they’re watching you bleed out during your round. Mr. Nice Guy thrashed Bruce “Wayne, don’t you remember me” Gurney 17-3. Jay could offer no help as Allie “Kerriganed” him on the way to a 13-7 beating. Allie and Wayne 30, Bruce and Jay politely declined to press charges.
Lastly we come to Jenna Cordero playing alone while her partner Luke was “pursuing other opportunities”. She was up against Craig and new member Chelsea. Someone in our League wants to call her Megan, but I don’t think that will play. It turned out fairly even, Jenna 21 Craig and Megan 19.
Check the excel file for accuracy and errors. It’s rev1 for a reason…
2020 Birdie Pool is now underway – Rules are listed below:
1-Let me know if you are interested2-Cost is $203-Payout at the end of the Regular Season(not the playoffs) is 60/30/104-All Birdies must be putted out, no gimmies5-You must be playing against a competitor, not against The Course.6-Even with the pins in and weird noodles in the hole the ball must still be at rest in that shallow space to count.7-Previous winning totals for 15 weeks of play have been from 7-15 birdies.
Respectfully submitted,
Rusty

Hellllllloooooooooooo Possums !!!!!

We will be playing on Lakeside Back this week. Check the attached excel file for the “Standings” tab to see whom plays whom and their respective handicaps.

For those who are new to the league your handicap shows as “0”. No worries, just play your usual game and I’ll be able to calculate the handicaps going forward.

If your handicap is >= 14 you must play from the YELLOW tee markers. Women play from the RED Markers.

Ground Rules for the Season as we stand now:

 1- Arrive to the JHGC Parking Lot no more than 15 minutes before your scheduled tee-time.

 2- Please practice the 6-foot rule of social distancing.

 3- If you owe me money please send me a check in the mail: Russell Burdick, 12 Plant Ave, Hudson MA 01749.

4-Tee-times are 10 minutes apart.

5- Slow Play – If you think you don’t play slowly just ask those who played behind you. Keep up the pace of play and keep your position on the course. If the group ahead is getting away from you pick up the pace. If they are 1 hole ahead of you pick up your balls, mark it a double bogey for everyone in the group and get moving.

6- Send me screen shots of the card for your group immediately after your round; neatly and clearly written just the scores. my cell is 774-249-1841.  If you want to score your match yourself do so on a separate card and text that to me if you wish.

7- Since we started so late this year there may be some hiccups, please bear with us and the golf course during these weirdo times. 

It’s best to text me a message or call me compared to an email.

Yours in Golf,

Rusty and Luke, wrestlers of ogres and herders of cats

Juniper Hill is OPEN! No leagues May 11-15. Start date May 20?

Quick particulars:

    Where – Juniper Hill Golf Course, Brigham Street, Northborough, MA

    When – CURRENT Start Date is May 6th.  It is subject to change due to these troubled times. Wednesday’s Tee times start 4:12 to 5:15 (special note- due to social distancing there may be slight changes to this item, stay tuned)

    How – as in how much? We pay for 18 weeks at $27 per week and then add $35 for prizes, total is then $521. This is payable to Russ Burdick before the season starts. This way we don’t need to pay greens fees at the front desk, just go to the Tee Box indicated on the schedule and check in there.

Payment: Russell Burdick (edit – details removed to protect the not so innocent – please contact Russ )

I will send out another note that will have the excel spreadsheet that contains data only as good as that which is entered by your humble servant. Please print legibly on your scorecards, include your full name so I don’t need to guess with 4-Kevins, 3-Phils, and 1-Quan exactly whom played whom.

Thank you all, keep the faith, stay away from the virus and if you catch it see a doctor and get rid of it.

Luke Alves, League President

Rusty Burdick, League Vice-President and scribe

Notes for 2020

Start Date is to be April 15th, Wednesday 2020

We play 19 weeks and pay for 18 weeks. Each week is $27, therefore $486 for greens fees.

Prizes will now be $35

Total cost of Membership is $486+$35= $521

Strokes on Par 3’s is returning (not giving strokes on par 3’s last year was a disaster)

We will play all 4 sides of the JHGC property

Birdie Pool is separate and an email will outline that event in the near future.

A- Jay Cox and The Quan Le have triumphed, barely, over Allie Perras and the Nicest Guy I know Wayne Baldelli. If memory serves it went down to the wire and 21-19 was the ending.

B- Newcomers and trash-talkers Phil Lesh Sharpe and Alex Scott Weiland ended up as 3rd place finishers over Mike Rochester Landry and Phil tbd Miller.

C- Jay and Quan are now proud owners of a 2nd League Playoff Title!!!! We done sirs. I cannot think of any other team that can make that boast, primarily because I’m old and forgetful. So, if any other teams wants to make that claim just send be your names on the back of a $100 bill and I’ll right to it.

Birdie Pool:

Ian McPherson wins 1st place with a total of 8. He grabs $252 from the Birdie prize pool.

Rick Manda and Kevin Riley win 2nd place with a total of 4. Each gets $63 from the Birdie prize pool.

Russ Burdick and Mike Landry win 3rd place with total of 3. Each gets $21 from the Birdie prize pool.

Match 1: Russ Burdick v Gary Swanson. The battle went Gary’s way early, but Russ battled back to even the match at the end at 10-10. Kevin Horgan v Ken Crouch. Kevin played decently except for losing his shit on 3 holes. Ken played well from the Yellows and did not lose his shit. Kevin 8 and Ken 12. G+K=22. K+R=18.

Match 2: Tony Serra v Allie Perras. Tony was giving strokes and did not hold up his end of the bargain as Allie took him apart one hole at a time. Allie 13, Tony 20-13=7. Wayne Baldelli v Luis Gomez. Wayne played well and hoped he would do to Luis like Allie did to Tony. No such luck. Luis played very well from the Yellows and worked over Wayne 15-5. Luis + Tony=22. Allie + Wayne = 18.

Match 3: Kevin Riley v Jay Cox. Kevin played well, but Jay picked his moments to try keeping it close. Riley 12-8. Gary Smith v Quan Le (Bruce Gurney). Gary found someone in Bruce to take advantage of as he marched to a 13-7 win. Jay + Bruce=15. Kevin and Gary = 25.

Match 4: Mike Landry v Luke Alves. Mike shot a 39 and Luke found it difficult to do anything but make him look good. Mike got 17. Luke got crushed. Phil Miller v Jenna Cordero. Phil then recognized this thing is about getting more points than your opponent and tagged Jenna 13-7. Mike and Phil= 30. Jenna and Luke = 10.

Match 5: Ian McPherson v Alex Weiland. Ian pulled double duty as usual when his team needs the extra points. Really Ron? Do you feel me? We looked to Alex to keep up with Ian and he did not disappoint us. 10-10 tie. Ron Bates (Ian McPherson 2) v Phil Sharpe. Ian 2 then lined up on Phil None too Sharpe for a 10-10 tie as well. 20-20 tie.

Match 6: Bill Morrill v Jim Brawn (Steve Giguere). Bill played well and took 12 points from substitute Steve. Craig Marsh v Keith MacNeal. Craig also played well matching his low round of the year and getting 13 points from Keith. Bill and Craig=25 and Steve and Keith=15.

Match 7: The Course v Paul Boisvert. Paul went out and got 5 Birdies that didn’t count for the Pool because he played The Course. He also ended up shooting 55. The course got 16pts. The Course 2 v Bob Andrews (Mark Bouley). Mark filled in for Bob and got jobbed just like Paul, The Course 2 got 16 points.

Match 8: Chris Riley v Linda Mara.  Linda played well tuning up Chris in the process 12-8. Rick Manda v Jody Smith. Rick played an excellent round and Jody felt abused because of it. Rick 13 Jody 7.

The Regular Season Champions are Ian and Ron. They outpointed Tony and Luis when it came down to the last few weeks. Well done fellas!

That now leaves the Playoffs for us all. Ian and Ron earned a Bye for the first round. The rest of us have been paired up according to lowest seed playing the highest seed and working down the line.

Recall that since it will be getting darker for the last few groups please keep the matches moving along. Each team should keep a scorecard so there are no burps at the end of the match with anyone unsure of the outcome. If you don’t know how to score your matches you should have contacted me during the 3rd week when I held scoring classes at the Westender. If there is a tie at the end of 9 holes you must determine a winning team by the time you hit the clubhouse. If extra holes are decided to break the tie any strokes that would have been given on the subsequent holes are still applied. You can also do a putt-off, draw cards, have a footrace, flip a coin, etc.

Check your matches and keep an eye to the weather for Wednesday. Note: Rick and Chris are a lower seed due to beating Mike and Phil head to head in week 9.

Rusty and Luke

Sorry for the brief report, but I’ve been intoxicated for the last week celebrating the USA Women’s FIFA win over the Dutch and this is the best I could do.

Birdie Pool notes:

Mike L., Phil S. and Luis each grabbed a birdie this week.

Ian expressed dismay that his week 11 gross score of 37 was not enough to beat his opponent. After extensive Drunk History research I located at least 10 other instances where a gross score of 37 and less was still humiliated by an opponent. Most recently, was last years playoffs involving 2 guys named Kevin; I think you know who we’re talking about, and the gross was a 33….f-eBag rides again.

Check the scores and points and memorize at least one obscure players handicap as well as your own for this week’s matches.

Yours Truly,

Rusty and Luke, 

ps-Luke and I go head to head this week. The winner gets to enforce one additional weird rule of golf for the rest of the season.